The unexpected emotional cost of being an indiehacker

Earlier this year, I started building my first commercial Mac app as an indiehacker. Previously, I was mainly focused on open source and was doing decent (2 projects with >1k stars, 2.2k followers on GitHub).

Open-source and entrepreneurship share many similarities, like ideation, execution, and all the tech stuff. I thought marketing was the major difference (of course). But I didn't realize that there's something bigger: the emotional cost.

Being the maintainer of an open-source project, you decide what you want to build, whom you build it for, and, most importantly, you don't owe your users; they owe you. Even if it goes viral and has thousands of users, there's no moral obligation that you have to do anything for them.

- "Have bugs? Sure, PR welcome"
- "Want this feature? Nah, it's not planned, find something else or make a PR yourself"

This is common in the open-source world, and is considered normal for good reasons; otherwise, the maintainers would soon burn out. But in entrepreneurship, things are completely different. Now, you owe your users because they paid for something you built.

I had a customer with whom we exchanged over forty emails back and forth, and still counting (which I do really appreciate!). Each time he reported a subtle issue, I felt I had failed his expectations, so I apologized to him and tried my best to fix it quickly. It's probably not the right reaction, but I don't know what is.

Other customers would request for more features. For those that align with my vision, even slightly, I always add them. For those that don't, I'd explain to them what the current plan is, why it does not fit, but still give them hope that this may be added in the future. Now, when someone messages me or a new email pops up, I'm like "oh no, there's something wrong". I need to calm myself down before I open the message.

Overall, it just feels so different. I know I might get used to it over time, but want to share the experience in case people have the same feelings or find it interesting.

The Demanding Modern Society

最近我时常感到,虽然我们的生活越来越便捷,但需要考虑的事却越来越多。

比如工作。2018 年和一个美国同事聊天,他说他计划一直在 Google 待到退休。虽然他至今没有被裁,但肯定也觉得当年的自己很天真。现在不论你身处在哪个国家,哪个行业,恐怕没人能完全不担心自己的将来。而在我们父母那个年代,这种担心似乎是多余的,至少对一部分人来说是这样。

比如健康。不同于前人的懵懂,我们已经明确知道了决定健康的关键因素:睡眠、饮食,和运动(再加个情绪)。然而谁能保证自己睡眠觉觉充足,饮食顿顿健康,每天锻炼科学合理?几乎没有。有太多制约因素使我们不能达到理想状态,即便我们知道要怎么做。

又比如理财。人民币在通缩,经济下行;美国在通胀,利率倒转。情况不同,对人的要求却又极为相似:你必须仔细观察、冷静判断,做出合理决策,才能保证自己的辛苦劳动所得不至于突然缩水。每一步似乎都走在刀尖,错一步就是万丈悬崖(想想那些在房价高位接盘的人)。

甚至是娱乐。现在是内容创作者最好的时代,却又是观众最辛苦的时代。手游、端游、电影、电视剧、短视频、长视频、播客、博客、小说、漫画。。能消费的东西太多,值得消费的精品也太多,只有我们的时间和精力不太多。这都还没包括旅游和演唱会之类的线下娱乐。

此外,还有住房、社交、婚恋、教育、移民、医疗、国际和国内政策,等等我没法也不想去列举的东西。每一项都仿佛是木桶的一块板,以至于我们没法撒手说老子不管了。是的,现在就是这么一个时代,一个 demanding,对人方方面面都有极高要求的时代。仅仅是把每一项做到不差,都需要花费大量时间去阅读、调研、执行,乃至反思,而我们的一天却只有二十四小时。

那么,能不能断舍离,去过极简生活呢?我们不妨探讨一下。首先,“极简生活”到底是什么?是三和大神那种早起日结,做一休三,网吧包夜的挂壁生活吗?恐怕不是。我猜大部分人和我一样,提起“极简“两个字时,脑中闪过的图景是某个干净整洁的房间,我们在里面读书、锻炼、早起早睡。问题在于,这种排除外界干扰的生活实际上比看起来要奢侈很多。倒不是说实现起来有多难,问题在于我们如何构筑一张安全网,让自己和身边的人相信这种生活是可持续的。为了构筑这张安全网,你必然得考虑之前提到的所有因素,甚至比一般人更加努力;而如果什么都不考虑先过上再说,也很难不有被不可抗力打断的一天。

那么,是什么提高了社会对人的要求?我认为有以下几点:

  • 首先,这是个全球高速增长已然结束的时代。增长能掩盖很多问题,反正大家努力工作就好了,其它的都交给增长解决。
  • 其次,这是个信息爆炸的时代,这点想必无需多言。而当人获得某个信息,你无法像电脑一样把它删除——要么骗自己,要么就得把它纳入考量。
  • 最后,正如我以前写过,我们正处在信息时代的早期,以至于 AI 还不能有效地帮我们思考和决策。假以时日,或许 AI 能在一定程度上解放我们,至于会不会有新问题就不知道了。

前现代的人们,生活艰苦却也简单;高增长期的人们,见证了未来一直变好;而我们,必须要在繁荣的顶点找到自己未来的路。这是当下许多人共同面临的问题,但同时也是一种奢侈的烦恼——因为起码,我们过上了现代生活;起码,我们不必为自己的性命担惊受怕。

Another Year, Another Layoff

Google 又裁员了。去年是一月份,今年也是一月份。我们都开玩笑,不如以后一月不裁员才发通知。

相比上次,我对这次裁员非常不满。23 年初经济状况看起来不好,所有公司都很悲观,裁员削减开支行我理解。但今年呢?首先,招聘已经放缓很久,相当多部门近一年都没招人了,削减过度招聘不能再作为理由。再者,即便 ChatGPT 横空出世,Google 的股价依然上涨,美国经济短期看起来也都 OK(当然隐患仍在),所以我只能理解为这次裁员是做给大股东们看的,为了展现公司的“Focus”。比如 Cloud 没裁人,那尽可以抓住这点大做文章:看,我们对云多么 focus。对公司来说,这次裁员绝对是负收益——如果去年大家还觉得裁员是不得已之举,现在变得常态化之后,所有人的不安全感都会激增,士气和动力也必然降低。说到底,还是管理者们(VP and above)为了自己手中的股票拿底层员工开刀。

稍好的一点是这次给了被 layoff 的员工转组的时间,且保留了内部招聘网站的访问权限。我只能希望想留下的人都能找到新组,但这显然是不可能的。


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